When No One's Looking
by Zuki Zuccini
Summary: Set in present day, Zuko and Sokka go to get some food, and risk facing Azula's wrath along the way. Minor *cough* SoZu themes. A series of one-shots based on their adventures of risking their lives and reputations when no one else is around. *Please R&R.
1. Azula's Wrath

Once upon a time…well, in the future, I mean present… kinda… OK, so three days from now: there was… is…will be… Ah, screw it!

OK, once upon last night there was a man, and his man-whore. I mean…wrong story. Shit! Alright, deep breathe, calm down, alright.

One more time…

Once upon sometime yesterday afternoon, there was a boy, and his boy-friend. Not like "boyfriend" boyfriend, but friend, who happens to be a boy (and he happens to sleep with on occasion). Anyway, Zuko were leaving school as Sokka ran up to him, grabbed Zuko's hand and said: "Feed me!"

Zuko rolled his eyes, and mumbled: "Fine." And they walked to the car, Sokka holding onto the pant loop on the back of Zuko's pants like a leash. They drove to get some delicious, and conveniently quick, food. In the drive thru, while Zuko was ordering, Sokka placed his hand on Zuko's thigh, and began to rub it with a perverted smirk on his face.

Zuko's voice cracked a little as he ordered, and he glanced at Sokka with a raised eyebrow, but didn't say anything. Sokka licked his lips. Zuko turned away, his face red, and then drove around to pay, and get their food.

Zuko had decided to be cheap by not buying himself, or Sokka drinks; He did, however, get one for Azula, because, after all, the princess only drank Dr. Pepper, but there wasn't any at home, but there was plenty of root beer for Zuko and Sokka. But while driving home, the food began to smell so delicious that Sokka could not help but begin to devour his sandwich made of the meat of a chicken, hot, and surrounded by cheese and honey mustard. "Ohm-nom-nom," Sokka said while he munched away.

Zuko glanced at Sokka form the corner of his eye. "That smells good," he said in a slightly glaring mumble.

"It IS good!" Sokka said happily, taking another bite. Zuko made a sad face. He wanted _his_ sandwich of numminess too! Sokka looked from Zuko, to his sandwich, then back to Zuko and pressed it to the other boy's lips saying: "But I get some of yours when we get home! OK?"

"Fine," Zuko said taking a bite as he merged into the next lane of traffic to make a left hand turn. The honey mustard ended up getting on his face, because of the driving and eating and what not.

"How does my meat taste?" Sokka asked with a perverted smirk. "Good?" Sokka giggled and pointed to his cheek, in the same spot that Zuko had the remnants of his bite of heaven. "You got something right there." Zuko moved to wipe it away, but then Sokka yelled that he should always keep both hands on the wheel while driving. "It's OK! I'll get it for you!"

"That is what I was afraid of," Zuko said. By now the thick, sticky liquid was dripping down to his chin as he slowed down the car as is the light turned yellow ahead of him. Sokka leaned over the arm rest and licked away the sauce all the way from Zuko's chin to his cheekbone. Zuko blushed and he hit the breaks a little harder than he had meant to, causing him to bring the car to a jerky stop. "What were you thinking? You could have killed us!" Zuko snapped.

Sokka leaned back in his seat and smiled. "No, _you_ could have killed us. _I_ was saving your life. You could have died if that was on your face for much longer."

"Doubt it," Zuko mumbled, taking his foot off the break and pressing the gas as the light turned green.

They drove for a little longer in silence, and Sokka shifted in his seat looking at the bag of food between his legs. "Can I eat your sandwich, too?" he asked.

"No," Zuko said firmly.

"Can I eat Azula's?" he asked with a sly smile on his face.

"If you want her to kill you, then yes," Zuko said and Sokka smiled and moved to reach for the food. "You know I am not speaking metaphorically, right?" Sokka stopped, making a pouting face. "I thought so."

Sokka set the food in the back seat, so he wouldn't be tempted. But as the minutes passes, and they grew closer and closer to Zuko's house, the time seemed to slow down, and Sokka grew thirsty. He tried to resist the urge, but it grew and grew within him. He eyed Azula's Dr. Pepper. He hated the foul drink, but he was terribly thirsty; parched, really. His mouth was a desert (that's a metaphor, children) a terrible, barren desert.

Sokka slowly forced the straw through the place where the plastic made an opening. It was a tight fit, but they were perfectly formed for one another. Once the straw was in, he knew that he had forever changed the hole of the lid, but he did not think about it at the moment. All he wanted was to get satisfied. One moment for pleasure and an eternity of pain; was it worth it?

Sokka lowered his face to the cup and took one long sip of the drink; it tasted disgusting, but it felt _so_ good. Better than anything in the entire world. He moaned, and Zuko glanced at Sokka to see what he was doing. His eyes grew large as he realized what grave mistake Sokka had made. "What are you doing!? Azula will kill you! Why would you drink her Dr. Pepper?!"

Sokka raised his face and gave Zuko his lot puppy face. "It's your head, not mine," Zuko said.

Sokka's eyes grew large. "Don't tell her! I didn't take a _drink_ I _absorbed_ it a little. That's all!"

"You- what?" Zuko asked, confused.

"_Absorbed_ it" Sokka said slowly, for clarification. "And if you tell her any different, I'll fuck you so damn hard in your sleep you'll feel it for a 5 months, 23 day, and 19 hours!"

Zuko blushed a violet red. "Fine," he mumbled angry.

"Oh no!" Sokka yelled, looking at the straw. "There's pop on the straw! She'll know! I'm dead!"

Zuko eyed the straw and said simply: "So wipe it off."

Sokka grabbed the straw and frantically tired to wipe it off on his shirt. "It won't come off! It's on the inside!" He blew into the straw, and sucked it fast to try and get rid of the drops of Dr. Pepper. "Ah! It's no good! No good!" he screamed, and threw the straw out the open window. "Azula didn't _get_ a straw, you hear me?!" Sokka yelled. "She can go murder the drive through guy, but not me!" Sokka paused. "Wait! You have straws at home, right?"

Zuko raised an eyebrow. "Yes…" He answered slowly, turning the corner.

"PERFECT!" Sokka screamed happily. "I win! YAY!"

"Congratulations," Zuko said unenthusiastically.

Sokka leaned in close to Zuko as he pulled into the driveway and whispered in his ear: "Remember: if you don't tell her, I'll give you a special treat." He winked and got out of the car. Zuko looked at Sokka, slightly dazed, but sure of one thing: Azula must never- ever- find out.


	2. Tired Little Panda

Zuko was a tired little panda

Zuko was a VERY tired little panda. He wanted nothing more than to sleep the entire night, and day, possibly with Sokka by his side (that is, if he would simply allow him to sleep and to not try to fuck him once Sokka believed he had rested enough). But Sokka was busy watching a movie marathon, and would not allow him to sleep. The marathon made no sense to Zuko what-so-ever; they were all just random movies. Different actors, different genres, different themes… None of it made sense.

BLAH blah blah…. Yawn….

"Why are we watching this?" Zuko finally asked.

"Because movie marathons are a vital part of life," Sokka said nodding to himself.

"But, these are all completely random movies! It's not a marathon! Can we please just sleep now?"

"No they're not random!" Sokka shouted, as if offended. "I can't believe you!"

"What?" Zuko said, confused. "Why can't you believe me?"

"They were all made in the same year!" Sokka said, as if it were obvious.

"I suppose so…" Zuko said slowly, thinking about it.

"You don't remember, do you!?" Sokka said, looking very hurt and shocked.

"Remember what?"

"These movies were all made in the year we met!"

"Oh," Zuko said, looking away from Sokka. "Of course."

"Liar! You don't remember!" Sokka said, pretending to cry. Sokka may have not had the best memory for things, but he remembered really random shit like what movies came out in the year they had met. Zuko, on the other hand couldn't remember if I movie was from last year, or 10 years ago; making the situation kind of difficult.

"So what if I don't remember?" Zuko asked seriously. "Who cares what movies came out the year we met? Let's go to sleep!" He started to stand up and Sokka grabbed his arm and had a look that was some sort of mix between shock, anger, and hurt.

"_How_ can you SAY that?" Sokka said, gripping Zuko's arm quite tight.

"Uhhh-"

"FINE!" Sokka turned off the TV, took Zuko by the arm, and dragged him to his room, and pushed him onto the bed.

"Uh, Sokka," Zuko said confused. "What are you doing?" He looked up at Sokka from on his back.

"I…'m not sure," Sokka said shrugging and taking off his shirt. Zuko raised an eyebrow at him. Was Sokka high? No! Silly panda! Sokka was just being Sokka! He has a natural high- it's called ADHD! Sokka pushed Zuko's legs out of the way and lay down to sleep, saying: "Night Zuko!"

Zuko shifted himself in the bed and shook his head to himself. "You're insane, Sokka."

"I know," Sokka replied, and turned onto his side and said: "Arm!"

Zuko sighed and turned towards Sokka, and laid his arm over him. "Night,"

"Night, Honey-Bear!"

((A/N: Sorry for the short chapter of crap. I'll update soon with another one that is better. ))


	3. Road Rage

Zuko was never one to get road rage

Zuko was never one to get road rage.

Cough, cough

It wasn't _his_ fault that old people were all ready to die and that due to this they felt the need to drive about 20 miles an hour UNDER the speed limit because it made them feel as if they might extend their life span if they took longer to get where ever the hell they were going. After all, if you are destined to die in Costco after being crushed by a gigantic jar of peaches that was knocked off the shelf that had been bumped by a forklift because some punk kids were playing forklift tag, wouldn't you want to drive to there as slow as possible? You still need to go there, because the super deals on insane amounts of food for insanely low prices were just too amazing to pass up, but you don't want to die quite yet.

It was a simple fact, but it didn't make it any less annoying when you're trying to get somewhere and you're stuck in traffic behind the fruit-doomed old man.

Zuko was tired of this. He gave a quick glance over his shoulder, and then merged into the next lane as fast as possible, causing Sokka's seatbelt to seize up, and prevent the boy from being able to move, or breathe really, but he couldn't take it off; not now when his life could be in danger.

"Why don't you just drive on the shoulder?" Sokka asked, looking longingly at the clear area next to the car.

"Because that's illegal and-" Zuko cut himself off when a silver SUV cut off his little white Volvo. "FUCKING Ba-Sing-Se-ian SLIME! How dare you cut me off?!" Sokka just looked surprised at Zuko as he flipped the people in front of him off. "Go back to where you came from!" Sokka was now making a strange face. "What? Fucking out of towners think they can be fucking ass holes just because they won't be here long enough for me to hunt them down and falcon punch their mothers while they sleep!"

Sokka burst out laughing uncontrollably.

"What?!" Zuko snapped. "What's so funny?"

Sokka could barely breathe by this point. "You!" he said once he managed to catch his breath a little. "Your face looks _SO_ funny!"

Zuko glared at Sokka, but Sokka just continued to laugh and laugh for 10 solid minutes while Zuko concentrated on the road very hard, feeling very awkward. After that there was about another 5 minutes of silence before Sokka decided it was time for music. He surfed the radio stations searching for anything that was decent music. That meant most stations were out of the question because they either played crappy music or had a ton of commercials.

Finally, Sokka came to his own solution: Singing!

Sokka started humming the tune to _Stacy's Mom_ and then burst out: "ZUKO'S MOM HAS GOT IT GOING ON! SHE'S ALL I WANT AND I'VE WAITED FOR SO LONG! ZUKO CAN'T YOU SEE? YOU'RE JUST NOT THE GUY FOR ME! I KNOW IT MIGHT BE WRONG BUT I'M IN LOVE WITH ZUKO'S MOM!"

Zuko's eyes grew wide and he looked as if he was either about to strangle Sokka or going to completely die from confusion. "What the _fucking hell_ is wrong with you?" Zuko asked.

"What?" Sokka asked innocently. "I made the song better!" Zuko rolled his eyes. "I made personalized it with your name to make you love me!" Sokka said smiling.

"I hate you," Zuko muttered; Sokka smiled bigger.

So, yeah. They rode in the car for a little while longer, until Sokka finally asked: "Where are we going?"

"I'm not sure," Zuko admitted as he signaled to get off the freeway at the next exit. It was strange, they had graduated from High School just the day before, and now they had no where to go- so they were driving. The car came to a stop and Sokka reached over and pulled Zuko's bangs away from his forehead to inspect it.

"What are you doing?" Zuko asked, annoyed.

"Seeing if you're still burned," Sokka answered, innocently.

"Of course I'm still burned you idiot! I'll have this scar for the rest of my life!" Zuko snapped, brushing Sokka's hand away. "You don't need to remind me!"

"Not that one!" Sokka said, laughing, "The one by your hair line from yesterday!"

"Oh," Zuko said blushing and looking away. He had burned himself on the forehead the morning before while trying to straiten his bangs for the graduation ceremony. "Well, there isn't any sort of mark, so you can just forget that it happened." The last thing Zuko would have needed was another burn scar, so he had put lots of aloe on it! Something he should have done when his Daddy burnt him, but he hadn't thought about it at the time. Maybe if he had remembered the magical healing powers of aloe, possibly in combination with some Neosporin, he wouldn't have such a bad scar, but just a light one. But nooo he hadn't been smart enough for that and was stuck handsomely disfigured.

Zuko, for your own reference try reading this:

"_Q.How does NEOSPORIN__ SCAR SOLUTION__ Silicone Scar Sheets work?_

_A.NEOSPORIN__ SCAR SOLUTION__ Silicone Scar Sheets use patented Silon__1__ technology, and are believed to mimic the natural barrier function of normal skin improving the appearance of scars, both new and __**old**__._

_Silicone sheets have been shown to __**improve the appearance of**__ new scars and __**even old scars that are years old.**__ NEOSPORIN__ SCAR SOLUTION__ Silicone Scar Sheets should be worn for the full 12 weeks._

_Q.What types of scars does NEOSPORIN__ SCAR SOLUTION__ Silicone Scar Sheets work on?_

_A.NEOSPORIN__ SCAR SOLUTION__ Silicone Scar Sheets are effective on keloids and hypertrophic scars, which are distinguished by a raised and __**discolored appearance**__._

_**These scars may result from burns**__, surgical procedures, and minor skin injuries. _

_Q.What will my scar look like after wearing the sheets?_

_A.Scars may appear flatter, smoother, and closer to the skin's natural color. _

_The results may vary from person to person and scar to scar. _

_Q.What if the sheet doesn't fit my scar?_

_A.The size of the sheet is 2.75"x1.5". _

_If the sheet is too big, cut the sheet to fit the scar. Trim the sheet prior to removing from liner. Ensure that the sheet extends completely around the scarred area. _

_If the sheet is too small, sheets can be applied side by side to fit the scar. _

_Q.Can I use this on any part of my body?_

_A.When used as directed, the silicone sheets __**can be used on any part of the body**__."__1_

_1__- Source: /scarsolution/scarsolution.asp?page5_

See Zuko? Its not too late! Too bad Sokka didn't know all this wonderful information. ." Oh well! Maybe he'll discover its miraculous-ness and tell you about it someday soon! :D We can always hope.


End file.
